Yesterday I settled on the project I’m going to focus on for the rest of this batch. I will build a tool that solves issues that commonly occur when handling annotated data for AI/ML use cases. I’m excited that I’ve decided to work on this. The project feels practical and right. I don’t know if anyone will ever use the tool I develop, but I will have the satisfaction of solving a problem for past me, and it should be a good way to get familiar with a lot of different data-related technologies quickly.

Today I was feeling down about my lack of progress. It feels like I’m still in exploring/planning mode, and I’m anxious about the fact that I’m approaching the end of week three out of a planned six. On the other hand, I’ve learned in life that there are certain processes that you can’t force to go at an arbitrary pace.

I’m glad I already have so many life experiences of situations when something took longer or more tries than expected. I was only accepted to grad school on my third try. Then it took me three years to finish my MS, and the process often felt unsustainable alongside parenting and full-time work. But in the end it was immensely satisfying, and here I am, barely six months later and embarking on a new learning journey, so I must be doing something right.

One thing that’s held me back this week is my unwillingness to ask questions. This is a long-ingrained habit that stems from the fear of appearing vulnerable. It’s funny how these lessons recur periodically in life - I’ve had to battle this one many times. But “learning generously” by asking questions, sharing your uncertainties, etc. is one of the self-directives at RC, and it’s one that’s impossible to practice by just grinding harder. In fact, you have to soften yourself for this, which I find agonizing. I will try to take this self-directive to heart in the coming days and weeks.